April 14, 2003
Month 3, Follicle Follow-up
Today's ultrasound showed that the follicle noted on Friday had grown, but it still wasn't quite large enough for release. Still, the doctor was sure it would continue to grow so we decided to do another hCG injection tomorrow evening.
We've made a big decision. On Thursday, I'll be undergoing intrauterine insemination (IUI). This procedure should increase my chances of conception.
I really hope this works. IUI is about as invasive as I want to go.
April 11, 2003
Month 3 Follicle Check
Dale wasn't able to attend today's ultrasound with me because he had a dentist's appointment. At any rate, I was in and out of the clinic in record time.
The exam showed a very promising follicle growing in my right ovary. It wasn't nearly large enough to release, but the doctor was very optimistic that it would be ready in time. I scheduled another follicle check for Monday, and that was it.
April 08, 2003
HSG
The hysterosalpingogram was a lot faster and a lot more painful than I expected. After they inserted the catheter into my cervix, a small balloon was inflated to hold it in place. As the tech was doing that part, I first started to get that full feeling right before a cramp hits, but then the pressure just kept building. I couldn't help it and gasped out, "that really hurts," and tears started to squeeze out of my eyes. It hurt so bad, I couldn't breathe.
The tech deflated the balloon slightly as her assistant gently rubbed my arm and softly told me to breathe. As the balloon deflated, the pain went away, although it still felt awkward.
After I was prepped, the doctor came in and began injecting the dye. Despite my discomfort and nerves, it was pretty neat to see my uterus and fallopian tubes magically appear on the monitor. I'd always assumed that my reproductive organs would appear as neat and symmetrical as textbook drawings. Instead I saw that my uterus was very small and flattened-looking, and my fallopian tubes were weird squiggly lines shooting off either side. One curved up and the other down.
I thought the whole setup looked very strange, but after it was over, the doctor said that from his initial view (via the monitor), my uterus and tubes looked fine. No scar tissue or other blockages. He said he'd still have to look at the x-rays, but he was pretty sure everything was fine. I'd get the full results at my next appointment at TFC.
I'd been warned that I might experience cramping and spotting after the procedure, and I did, but not even as bad as a usual cycle. I just wished for a heating pad to put over my belly.
April 07, 2003
Clomid, month three
Since the Clomid didn't work as it should have last month, we opted to up my dosage. I'm up to 150 mg (three pills) for five days. I really hate taking the Clomid. The side effects have been a real strain on Dale and me. The lesser of the symptoms is hot flashes. Without warning, I'll suddenly find myself almost suffocatingly hot and sweating. I'll look over at Dale, and he's on the couch under a blanket. I know they're an old menopause joke, but now I have sympathy for someone who's suffering from them. They really suck.
The other big side effect is much worse. The Clomid makes me crazy. Like, insane unprovoked rages. I've had fit that make billion dollar pop diva envious. And it's really hard on Dale because he usually ends up taking the brunt of my outbursts. We now refer to Clomid as my 'crazy pills.'
I try to control myself when I catch myself getting upset, because I know it's most likely the hormone cocktail in my system, but sometimes, even though I'm perfectly aware of being a complete shit, I still deliberately pick fights with my husband. One night, while some friends were over, I threw a screaming fit over something that happened in a computer game. Fortunately, I didn't direct my anger at any one of them, but I stomped downstairs and sulked in bed for several hours.
Dale and I have had some horrid fights because of the Clomid mood swings. Even though they usually only occur during one week of the whole cycle, it's so bad that we seriously discussed stopping the treatments because of the severity of the problem. Especially when the next month would involve going with an even higher dosage of Clomid.
But, we did decide we would try again. And I finished this month's Clomid yesterday. Neither Dale nor I can remember if they usually occur the week I take the pills or the week after. So far, I haven't had any bad mood swings. We're going to knock on wood and hope that I just won't have any this month.
And, of course, that the Clomid works like it should.
Catching up
Last month the treatment wasn't as successful as the first try. The Clomid did cause a follicle to grow, but not nearly enough. We opted to count this month as a miss, and I was prescribed Prometrium to induce my next period so we wouldn't have to just wait for it to start (since my cycle is erratic and unreliable).
Tomorrow, I'm going to a clinic for a hysterosalpingogram (HSG). This test is used to determine if there is any scar tissue or other blockage in the fallopian tubes that could be causing infertility.
I'm not really looking forward to this test. It doesn't sound like it's going to be very comfortable. Plus, Dale and I both have to take antibiotics for 14 days. Apparently, the procedure could leave me prone to getting some sort of infection, and the antibiotics are a preemptive strike to knock out anything that may be in our systems already.
This afternoon, I made the mistake of taking my pill on an empty stomach. That was a very bad mistake, as I ended up making two quick trips to hurl bile into the toilet.