April 07, 2003
Clomid, month three
Since the Clomid didn't work as it should have last month, we opted to up my dosage. I'm up to 150 mg (three pills) for five days. I really hate taking the Clomid. The side effects have been a real strain on Dale and me. The lesser of the symptoms is hot flashes. Without warning, I'll suddenly find myself almost suffocatingly hot and sweating. I'll look over at Dale, and he's on the couch under a blanket. I know they're an old menopause joke, but now I have sympathy for someone who's suffering from them. They really suck.
The other big side effect is much worse. The Clomid makes me crazy. Like, insane unprovoked rages. I've had fit that make billion dollar pop diva envious. And it's really hard on Dale because he usually ends up taking the brunt of my outbursts. We now refer to Clomid as my 'crazy pills.'
I try to control myself when I catch myself getting upset, because I know it's most likely the hormone cocktail in my system, but sometimes, even though I'm perfectly aware of being a complete shit, I still deliberately pick fights with my husband. One night, while some friends were over, I threw a screaming fit over something that happened in a computer game. Fortunately, I didn't direct my anger at any one of them, but I stomped downstairs and sulked in bed for several hours.
Dale and I have had some horrid fights because of the Clomid mood swings. Even though they usually only occur during one week of the whole cycle, it's so bad that we seriously discussed stopping the treatments because of the severity of the problem. Especially when the next month would involve going with an even higher dosage of Clomid.
But, we did decide we would try again. And I finished this month's Clomid yesterday. Neither Dale nor I can remember if they usually occur the week I take the pills or the week after. So far, I haven't had any bad mood swings. We're going to knock on wood and hope that I just won't have any this month.
And, of course, that the Clomid works like it should.
Catching up
Last month the treatment wasn't as successful as the first try. The Clomid did cause a follicle to grow, but not nearly enough. We opted to count this month as a miss, and I was prescribed Prometrium to induce my next period so we wouldn't have to just wait for it to start (since my cycle is erratic and unreliable).
Tomorrow, I'm going to a clinic for a hysterosalpingogram (HSG). This test is used to determine if there is any scar tissue or other blockage in the fallopian tubes that could be causing infertility.
I'm not really looking forward to this test. It doesn't sound like it's going to be very comfortable. Plus, Dale and I both have to take antibiotics for 14 days. Apparently, the procedure could leave me prone to getting some sort of infection, and the antibiotics are a preemptive strike to knock out anything that may be in our systems already.
This afternoon, I made the mistake of taking my pill on an empty stomach. That was a very bad mistake, as I ended up making two quick trips to hurl bile into the toilet.